Pelvic Floor Real Talk: What I’ve Learned at 40

 

People talk about pelvic floor issues as you age, but I’m realizing something important: every single situation is different, and every story is worth sharing — because we can all learn from each other.

I have pelvic floor issues. And honestly? I don’t feel embarrassed about it. My hormones are changing, I’m losing collagen and elasticity in my connective tissues, and my estrogen isn’t exactly cooperating these days.

I’ve started taking a liver support supplement to help with inflammation and, hopefully, support better hormone balance. (While research on liver supplements directly improving estrogen is limited, supporting your liver health can help your body process hormones and reduce inflammation — so it may help some people.)

I’ve also done pelvic floor physical therapy and learned some tips that have been invaluable.

One challenge I’ve run into is this:

I know lifting heavy weights is recommended — it helps build bone density and muscle mass and can even support hormone health. But lifting heavy without proper technique can strain the pelvic floor and actually make symptoms worse.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

✅ Breathing properly makes a huge difference — exhaling during the exertion part of a movement helps reduce intra-abdominal pressure and protects your pelvic floor.

✅ Don’t “bear down” or hold your breath (called the Valsalva maneuver) if you already have pelvic floor weakness — it increases downward pressure.

✅ Proper form isn’t optional — it’s everything. Not just “working out,” but learning, practicing, and mastering the right way to move.

Another thing I’ve learned: not all pelvic floor problems come from “weakness.”

Some people have pelvic floors that are actually too tight (hypertonic), and doing traditional kegels can make that worse. Other people do need strengthening — but even then, kegels should be done with awareness of alignment, breath, and sometimes manual support or feedback from a therapist.

Knowing what your specific issue is — and moving from there — is critical.

I’m so grateful I saw a pelvic floor physical therapist who guided me before my insurance ran out.

Some other gems I’ve learned (that no one really tells you):

✨ Posture matters — slouching, tucking your pelvis under, or standing with all your weight on one hip can contribute to dysfunction over time.

✨ The pelvic floor doesn’t work in isolation — it’s part of your whole core system (including diaphragm, abdominals, back muscles). Strengthening your whole core properly is key.

✨ Rest & recovery matter too — stress, poor sleep, and chronic tension can all affect your pelvic health.

I don’t really have a big moral of the story here except to say:

This is me, at 40, figuring it out.

I can’t always run the way I want to.

I definitely can’t jump on a trampoline without intense focus.

And I’m learning to meet my body where it is — with compassion and curiosity.

Maybe just hearing this from me — that this is a thing, and it’s okay to talk about it — will help someone else feel less alone.

You’re not alone. We’re figuring it out together. 🙂